Crazy Opportunity knocks - nobody is home!
On a dreary cold Monday afternoon, I jump off the bus and head into my nice warm & comfy homestead. My hubby hands me a flyer that someone had placed in our mailbox about a missing cat. The cat had last been seen five days ago. Well, I recognize the cat as a friendly little guy I had seen in my back yard a few weeks ago. And while I hadn't seen him within the last five days, I did want to let the family know that the cat frequents my back yard, which is conveniently located next to a jungle of a yard (house that was burnt due to fire and has been left abandoned for 2 years)... so I worry that the cat may be stuck in the ghetto fire house basement.
I spoke to the mom and informed her that I thought possibly the cat could be trapped in the abandoned house. She thanked me profusely for responding to her flyer, and she informed me that out of 25 flyers they posted around the neighborhood, my husband and I were the only ones to respond. We had a great conversation and I found out she does dog walking as a side job, which I've always been interested in, being the dog lover that I am. Now I'm intrigued and would love to meet this frinedly neighbor due to the dog walking info...
She called me today to let me know she found her beloved cat traipsing around the neighborhood, phew! The cat is home safe and sound. We continued our nice conversation. She mentioned that she'd love to stop by my house and introduce me to her children (okay, I love dogs, but children -- not so much...well, just kidding, I do love children that I know, but not random other people's kids!).. so I'm thinking, ummm Okay... -- ummm -- My husband and I will be home this evening passing out candy to trick/treaters, to which she mentions "Oh, we don't celebrate holidays. We are johova witnesses".
Me, thinking in my head not saying out loud, [Here we go again. I get roped into these crazy situations far too often and the darn cat was probably never lost, but this was a secret ploy to get folks into their cult], but what I say is "Oh, that's cool." [That's Cool? What the HEdouble hockey stick kind of a response is that to "I'm a jahova witness????]
So I kinda rush off the phone and think, "Oh, crap, now I'm going to have this holy roller johova witness person stalking me.".... I went out to get my nails done, and sure 'nuf, I get home and there's a crazy flyer in the mailbox from the cult neighbor.
It may be time for this chick to move on outta the neighborhood. I've done so well being here for over two years, and to date have only had one stalker, but I think I just signed up for another one!
Maybe I'll hang a giant cross on my front door, and keep away the pamphlet pushing pretend their cat is lost folk!
Signed,
Stalked in the Suburbs
On a dreary cold Monday afternoon, I jump off the bus and head into my nice warm & comfy homestead. My hubby hands me a flyer that someone had placed in our mailbox about a missing cat. The cat had last been seen five days ago. Well, I recognize the cat as a friendly little guy I had seen in my back yard a few weeks ago. And while I hadn't seen him within the last five days, I did want to let the family know that the cat frequents my back yard, which is conveniently located next to a jungle of a yard (house that was burnt due to fire and has been left abandoned for 2 years)... so I worry that the cat may be stuck in the ghetto fire house basement.
I spoke to the mom and informed her that I thought possibly the cat could be trapped in the abandoned house. She thanked me profusely for responding to her flyer, and she informed me that out of 25 flyers they posted around the neighborhood, my husband and I were the only ones to respond. We had a great conversation and I found out she does dog walking as a side job, which I've always been interested in, being the dog lover that I am. Now I'm intrigued and would love to meet this frinedly neighbor due to the dog walking info...
She called me today to let me know she found her beloved cat traipsing around the neighborhood, phew! The cat is home safe and sound. We continued our nice conversation. She mentioned that she'd love to stop by my house and introduce me to her children (okay, I love dogs, but children -- not so much...well, just kidding, I do love children that I know, but not random other people's kids!).. so I'm thinking, ummm Okay... -- ummm -- My husband and I will be home this evening passing out candy to trick/treaters, to which she mentions "Oh, we don't celebrate holidays. We are johova witnesses".
Me, thinking in my head not saying out loud, [Here we go again. I get roped into these crazy situations far too often and the darn cat was probably never lost, but this was a secret ploy to get folks into their cult], but what I say is "Oh, that's cool." [That's Cool? What the HEdouble hockey stick kind of a response is that to "I'm a jahova witness????]
So I kinda rush off the phone and think, "Oh, crap, now I'm going to have this holy roller johova witness person stalking me.".... I went out to get my nails done, and sure 'nuf, I get home and there's a crazy flyer in the mailbox from the cult neighbor.
It may be time for this chick to move on outta the neighborhood. I've done so well being here for over two years, and to date have only had one stalker, but I think I just signed up for another one!
Maybe I'll hang a giant cross on my front door, and keep away the pamphlet pushing pretend their cat is lost folk!
Signed,
Stalked in the Suburbs
Shane Grady
posted by Vin at 3:40 PM
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